We seek redemption
in skin

A beginning
winding softly to completion

You will make me weep
at last
and it will be release
and it will bring an ending
to unsurpassed loathings.

I could never understand
why I was given to you

One who was born of grace
to grace this battered earth

You a
beacon
wand
and guide

And I
a shadow clinging

I sing your lyrics
a voice cracking
and dry
surging around the words
seeking understanding
yet

understanding nothing
just the beauty
the clarity
of your pristine
trust implied.


I draw your design

etching hope on the pavement
in chalk and crayons blunted

I scream at windows closed
to make them see

I drink rivers of Styx and wine
look into strangers eyes for a sign
and crystallise
glassy stares into something more than
accusations within the reflections
of windows smeared by grubby fingers
and disparities.


And through it all
you held your chalice above me
a drop of acceptance to splash
and soothe the thirst
I croak from

I will spill it all
eventually
the upending sending
droplets to shatter against
the confirmation
you never sought
but always thought would come.

The sum of my life
held in your fine fingers
interlaced with sacrifice
you will not avert as I was certain
you should have done long before

But still
I will pray
against the coming of that fateful day


Deny me
and you will make me weep at last