Moon Version
water waits
patient
sound of splash
lap
upon stones.
Together we remove
skin
bone
question moments past
You told me
water recreates
paints us
in glistening strokes
draws us in
sculpts
liquid clay.
Together
we prepare ourselves
divest
belief systems
and dreams
lives
falling away
in the cool
embrace
You told me
water takes
steals breath
gives serenity
takes time
leaving forever
Original Version
You told me
the water waits
patient
the sound
of a splash
wise
the lapping
upon stones.
Together
we remove
ourselves
skin and bone
question and answer
moment and past
You told me
the water recreates
painting us
in glistening strokes
drawing us
in
sculpting
souls
in liquid clay.
Together
we prepare ourselves
divesting
belief systems
and dreams
lives
falling away
in the cool
embrace
You told me
the water takes
stealing breath
giving serenity
taking time
giving forever’s
3 comments:
ooo, niiice ... now I don't really do this any more, but this is talking to me, so I'm going to play with it ...
water waits
patient
sound of splash
lap
upon stones.
Together we remove
skin
bone
question moments past
You told me
water recreates
paints us
in glistening strokes
draws us in
sculpts
liquid clay.
Together
we prepare ourselves
divest
belief systems
and dreams
lives
falling away
in the cool
embrace
You told me
water takes
steals breath
gives serenity
takes time
leaving forever
mmmm, just playing. Another way of interpreting your thoughts I guess :)
Nice words :)
lol
Its so much tighter now, seriously ,nicely done mate, I knew when I wrote it yesterday it needed help, but I have a cold and I couldn't think straight enough to do it,thank you :)
oo having a cold, not nice. hope you are better today :)
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