This is a very nice short. But there's something not gelling with the last line ... something grammatical???
Maybe something about ... because you 'have written' then maybe the poem 'will be' eternal?
I dunno ... needs someone better than me at grammar, but there's something about 'is eternal' that sounds off to me. Maybe because if it's eternal then present tense doesn't encompass that?
lol, sorry ... I'm not very helpful am I? Do I make any sense at all?
2 comments:
This is a very nice short. But there's something not gelling with the last line ... something grammatical???
Maybe something about ... because you 'have written' then maybe the poem 'will be' eternal?
I dunno ... needs someone better than me at grammar, but there's something about 'is eternal' that sounds off to me. Maybe because if it's eternal then present tense doesn't encompass that?
lol, sorry ... I'm not very helpful am I? Do I make any sense at all?
moon
I love how Ive written three lines and you have discussed it more than the previous ten poems put together *grinning*.
I think upon the grammatical issue you have raised although, to me it seems ok, but I will review and I thankyou :)
And yes, you are ALWAYS helpful *smile*
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