Sometimes
We cannot talk fast enough to escape
sometimes
we do.
We flow with words
lips move
sound emits
an articulation
divesting us of self
and offering the sacrifice
of giving.
The language shifts and morphs
leaping in nimble jumps from tongue
to air
to ears
I give freely
of thought
a dissolving phonic
rising as a lilt
falling to earth
a word rain
pattering without clatter
to the soft ground
and soaking in.
My mouth speaks the earth
in loam and deep tones
shaping rocks and the trunks of trees
between my teeth
Deftly
then
when we speak
an exchange is made
a trade of concept
no haggling on a grime street corner
the transaction is pure
unsullied with compromise
the words come forth
pass each other between us
to land upon cheek
splash into eye
or
kiss a trembling lip.
Speak then
and let us become
5 comments:
ahh, see now this is a coherent poem. One that flows naturally and fluently from point to point, strophe to strophe.
nice work
Well thank you my dear , and yes, it does to a point, but you are comparing your poem, which is a much more complex construct, to this, which while it flows ok, is not striving to anywhere near the same level.
You insert far more complex images.layers,concepts, into your poems, your word selections are careful and each strophe delivers a particular impact, lots more thought to it.
I am essentially lazy when I write actually, its not laziness so much as relying on my natural ability to carry the poem rather than the use of consideration and planning, which means while the phonics will usually be appealing, the depth of the poem will vary because I don't work at it as hard as I should.
You are exceedingly diligent in making your poems be the best they can be, I only do that sometimes *smile*
mmm, I hate to burst your bubble, but my poems are almost never planned or constructed with careful thought.
The huge majority of them are written and posted pretty much as they pop out of my head. Most are written very quickly, in a few minutes or so.
I guess that's the difference between poetry and prose. I can write prose any time, can plan and construct prose, but poetry has to 'come' to me.
I've heard you say before that you can't 'learn' to write poetry, you're either a poet or you aren't. I used to not believe that, but now I think it's very true.
Which therefore leads me to believe that you think in a layered and naturally complex and constructive fashion when thinking poetry at the very least.
It is all in how the mind is shaped and the way it creates thought.
You have actually burst my bubble by the way, I always gave myself the excuse that my lack of comparative complexity was because you exerted more energy in the thought process during poetic creationism.
bugger!!!
lol
I know. lololololol
my heads just a seething mass of confusion though, lol
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