We are going beyond the boundaries
of the flat plains
into the heat haze
shimmering
beckoning wave
there will be empty pump bottles
and lolly wrappers stuffed into
arm rests on car doors.
There will be music
and faces seeking answers
in blurred bitumen.
We are going where the sun lies
still
red
ageless
in a poker face sky
It will linger
long beyond the cautious
probing fingers of nights
tentative first caress
laying rouge tiger strips
across my arm
the one dotted with too many freckles
resting out the car window
You and I
will ride in silence
words not required
as we move towards the same place
occasional half smiles offered and accepted.
Techno will leak
in tinny tones
from the backseat
almost contained by ipod
nano
shuffle
etc etc
Sometimes
a complaint about
my cd mix
will come sliding over the headrest
to slip around my throat
and tug gently
only to retreat
with resigned sighs
We move
beyond the boundaries
of the flat plain
and into
a waiting suns
patient eye.
2 comments:
two for two. This is great too. Excellent stuff. I really enjoyed reading these. Cheered me up no end. I find it so hard to read poems through to the end these days. I find myself drifting off halfway through, but yours are always easy to stay in. I think that's a real talent ... to be able to hold your audience.
Something many poets never master.
A couple of technical notes:
long beyond the cautious
probing fingers of night(')s
tentative first caress
**it's the 'night's' caress, so it needs a possessive apostrophe
laying ro(gu)e tiger strip(e)s
across my arm
**assuming you meant to sat 'rogue' tiger stripes?
Maybe you meant 'rouge', as in 'red'? In any case you need an 'e' in stripes.
a waiting sun(')s
patient eye.
**same here. The 'patient eye' belongs to the sun and so needs a possessive apostrophe. ;D
I especially love this:
We are going where the sun lies
still
red
ageless
in a poker face sky
and this:
You and I
will ride in silence
words not required
as we move towards the same place
great strophe! Maybe you could lose that next line about the half smiles? It's so epic just like this.
I like the long strip of poem too. Emphasises the long highway.
Well thankyou Moon maid *smile*
I never have any difficulty reading your poetry either, but then, I love it, so that will be why :)
Thankyou for technical hints, I shall rework and repost, thanks moonie
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