Sunday, April 15, 2007

Uncertain days

Between them
the past was a ceaseless
white on white

A clean page
pen poised above
fingers trembling with tension
to write a history
but the ink
unable
to spill to paper

She receded into the shadow worlds
wervyn and were- creatures abound
the moving shapes
leaving burning images
on her filigreed curtains

She
closed doors
wove protective shells
layered crystal and calcium
building carefully around her
till she could not see without

and none could come within.


And he
had no recourse
to make contact

His curse
was to be incorporate

a ghost in the machinery
seen vaguely as a backdrop
for the completion of destinies

He made up the numbers
during daylight hours

but secretly at night
when the lights were extinguished
he would press glowing spectral fingers
to the smooth surface of the road outside his house

The tar
melting beneath touch
allowing phrases and thoughts
to sear into the coarse much travelled pathways

He would leave whole stories
of men without mouths
who could not speak desperation

Of men without faces
who could not frown

Of a women
encased within a seashell

He wrote tales
of prophecies foretold

of a seeking for wholeness

from the one person who could offer it


who was forever

saying no

And by morning
the winding script
swirled and wavered across
the blackened thread


Telling his story to no one
but the tyres
as they ran upon him
and smeared him dark again








Friday, April 13, 2007

Prices

I have done what you asked


I lit the votives


murmured hymns of abasement

prostrated myself

at the alter

Allowed you to heap
humiliations
on my bowed neck

Burn indignities
into my hot flesh

I submitted to all of this
as you fluttered
around the light
brushing against the heated bulb
with thin translucent wings

never in danger

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Untitled

There’s a woman
on a swing
at 7.30am
trying for free
missing it completely
looking self conscious
and lost and
becoming the little girl
she wishes to be
in all the wrong ways
all the shy self depreciation
uncertainty in each shuddering
upward arc
to hang
exposed to the sky
then fall again
and again




I am driving past
the past
pedal flat to the ground
making the blur my company
talking to the smear of greenery
and concrete
colourless haze
in companionable familiarity
hoping for response

accepting sullen

My hands have melted to the wheel
becoming another shade of
chrome and steel
spinning left and right

Steering the course
a pilot at the helm of the Cutty Sark
cleaving waves with the salt spray
stinging cheeks and freezing fingers
to the weathered timbers
eyes clenched in grim determination
losing sight of elation

that joyful sensation I coveted

My car is another destination
a place travelling with me
somewhere to be go
a staff in the hands of a mage
wielding power
with the spark of ignition
replacing witch fire burning

I am taking me now

the howl of the engine
a raging wind released
a ravenous beast unleashed
upon the herd
slaying ideologies
and hope with the same
slavering rending fang indifference

I have no time left
because I have left it on
the kitchen bench
a post-it-note
stuck to a used plate
explaining
that I'm still not complaining
I just cannot face my face
any longer

The rear vision mirror
pushed to an angle
so I cannot see behind or within

And will you come?

Sister of the starlit sea
I know you wish to join me
in all my frail complexities

in all my blaze of glory
end of story finalities

I will look for you

on the yellow pink gentle palette
painted on the sunset I am heading for




Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Gifts



She told herself

the price was too high


And wrapped her soul
in tin foil and sticking tape
wound round and around
till she could never be found

She told herself

a gift is freely given

And sealed herself
in molten sand
the glass reflecting
her hand against the surface
a smear of uncertainty

She told herself

the choice was hers


and it was.








One at a time

I have drawn another day

to my breast

savoured its air

inhaled its scent

run naked through its morning warmth

lain rested in its noon heat

wandered thoughtful across its afternoon shadows

and lit a fire

in its pressing dark

Monday, April 09, 2007

An exploration of any given period

I will wear my shame
with pride


The purity of self loathing
in the shimmer
of sable

A cloak of incantations

Within the hood
each rune
sears sins
into my skull

No hiding
or
denying

Each bright blot upon
the chapters of life
clearly inked
and synched to
short falls
lies
averted lines of
thought
sliding
sidewinder through eyes

Let the day
expose
pathetic excuses
and hastily erected
defences
around
whining cajoling
disclaimers

I will suck it in
suck it down

Awaken to aching doubt
and fall asleep to the lullaby
of why

Monday, April 02, 2007

Disparity *Language Warning *

It isn’t poetic

or pretty

The curve of your sex
angles away
around corners of conversation
into complexities of sleep deprivation
and time poverties
weary
thread bare insistence


And yes
it
aches

bone deep
interrupting sleep patterns
scattering thoughts to random

A lurid regimes totality

each day
a collection
of tiny self denials

There is no understanding
of imperative for you

It remains
an abstract
inconclusive
and elusive
ignored and deplored as
an inability
to control

And when will we fuck
do you think?

I do not want romance
and soft imprecations tonight
I am not capable of dimming the lights
and massaging my way into your
good graces

The energies arc and flare
setting skin into flame enhanced
dancing nerve
self serving
seductions

I covet
the taste of you

Want is a waste
a cock
turned to stone

<>The disparity of desire
personified in
the press of rigidity
against averted flesh